Last Night in CA

Well, it seemed like a long time, but really I feel like this trip was both REALLY LONG and REALLY SHORT. Part of me wants to get back to my life in VA (or rather getting my job situation figured out), but part of me doesn't want to walk in to that empty condo. Part of me wants to get back into my routine, but part of me will miss my family. I wanted to run 10 miles this morning, but I'm sick with a cold and a little bit of chest congestion. I did manage to run 6 miles, though, to Downtown Disney and a little of the way back. But my chest started to hurt so I walked the rest of the 4 miles back. It took me a little over 2 hours, which is still not too bad considering I walked.

I know some of my posts seem like downers lately, but that's just because I really have no idea where I am in my life. I don't know how to make things the way I want them to be. And that really frustrates me and brings me down sometimes, especially when I see my friends and family moving on to all these wonderful things and phases in life: moving to a place they've always wanted to live, having babies, getting married.

I admit that I'm envious. Very.

Don't get me wrong. My health and fitness are important to me. Getting in great shape is important to me. These are areas in my life that I can actually control. But it's not the end all be all. I want A LIFE.

I am blessed though. I'm not trying to sound ungrateful:

I CAN run
I have a supportive family who loves me
I have a wonderful boyfriend
I have a roof over my head
I still have one of my jobs left
And most importantly, God never leaves me empty handed. He always has something for me to fall back on.

Till Tomorrow,

Deedah