A Weighty Issue

In our quests to get skinny/get healthy/get fit, we're hardwired to view weight as the standard upon which we base our success in whatever diet-related endeavour we pursue, and the lower the better. But, having been a chronic yo-yo dieter for the majority of my life, I know I'll never weigh, for example, 120 lb because 1) that would be too hard to maintain, loving food like I do; 2) I would have even less of a chest and backside than I do now; and 3) that's just too thin for my frame. It may be the perfect goal weight for some of you out there, but I know that I start looking too skinny at 135. I know, I was there (once upon a time!). For me, I stop losing weight when I think I look my best. I think that's fair enough.

Back in the day (1998-2002), I was working part-time at Nordstrom along with some gorgeous and skinny fashionistas. Needless to say, I felt very out of place at a size 12 and 172 lb. I couldn't get into the fashions (sometimes quite literally) that were all around me because they never looked as good on me as they did on the hard-bodied mannequins, and so all I ended up using my employee discount for were full-fat raspberry mochas from the Espresso Bar. Everyone was kind enough and no one made a big deal about my size, but I wanted so badly to fit in with these beautiful, put-together people. I, too, wanted to try on the latest in couture and strut through the stockroom for my coworkers, giggling about waiting for it to go on clearance. To be honest, I was so superficial back then.

So, I joined Weight Watchers for the first time, and, in addition to Jazzercise, which I had already loved doing for a years, I lost the weight in a matter of months. My coworkers were thrilled because now we could all wear the same size and styles and try things on together (not in a perverted way!) during downtime. I was 128 lb and wore a size 2/4 on my 5'6" frame. I'm a little on the big-boned side so I was also xylophone chested and sunken cheeked. These days looking like a Thriller video dancer isn't really the look I'm going for. My body just isn't suited to that low of a weight, even though 128 lb is a very decent weight to be (again, for some but not me).

Alas, my days as a clothes hanger were numbered, especially when I started working in an office in downtown DC, surrounded by some of the best food (and happy hours!) in the area and sitting in a cubicle most of the day. So, eventually I made it right back up to 172, give or take. It went on like that for years. I would lose a little, then gain a little. I had the whole range of Misses sizes in my closet (every size between a 2 and a 14), the majority of which were stowed away in big black trash bags because more clothes didn't fit than did at any given weight.

About 4 years ago, I  decided that I no longer wanted to be skinny like those old Nordstrom days. I wanted to be fit and healthy! I wanted to be powerful! I wanted to be a big presence instead of trying so hard to disappear. I started working out harder and eventually started running and haven't looked back. I've been holding steady in the 142-150 range ever since. Which brings me to the point of this post: my first weigh in.

Like I wrote in one of my earlier posts I would like to lose about 10-15 pounds to really feel like I'm in the best condition for my body. That's one of the reasons for this blog (but it's not the only reason). So, of course, I need a place to start. So here it is: 150.6.

This time last summer, I was 142 lb. I was feeling great, running 6 miles nearly every day, and getting pretty ripped. But I got sidetracked by some health issues (another post, another time) that took me by surprise in October, forcing me to change my eating habits and curtail my exercise regimen both during the ordeal and for weeks after (well into the new year). And boy was I frustrated and sad!

All I'd accomplished was gone, and I by New Years 2010 I was 156 lb and sedentary. The only things that were ripped were junk food wrappers on my bed and the waistband of my no-longer-fitting size 6 black dress pants in my effort to give my gut a little room.

I would love to lose 10 lb before the big race in February! I know it doesn't seem like a lot to lose, and some people will scoff at how easy it should be. But for me, it's not easy at all. I've spent hundreds (maybe nearly thousands) on diet plans, books, and frozen or freeze-dried foods (never again) just to lose these 10 lb and keep them off for good. And every single one of those attempts failed.

It's time to rededicate myself to this goal and any other goal I want to go for, in health and in life in general.

When I was 22, I was very thin, just skin wrapped around an assembly of bones. I could wear designer clothes in tiny sizes. Now that I'm 32, I want to be very fit, skin wrapped around lean, strong muscle. I want to wear clothes that make me feel beautiful and anything but tiny!

Training

I was feeling so much better this morning, so I made it to the gym for my scheduled 3-mile run (I actually ran 5K on the treadmill). I finished in 32 minutes and some change and then did some arm work. In all, I burned about 560 calories.


Todays Eats

Today was an interesting day, foodwise. Of couse, because I'm stubborn (but should know better), I don't usually eat before a morning workout. I just don't have the time or the desire. It's something I need to work on. So I was famished by the time I got to work. At this point, it's been 2 hours since my run. I decided to stop at Cosi for one of their new Spinach Florentine Breakfast Wraps on a wheat tortilla. It's eggs, spinach, cheese, and artichoke spread (that I'll probably forgo the next time I order this). It was 334 calories, 21 grams of fat, and 24 grams of protein. Yeah, the stats are a little high, but it was delish and boy did it hit the spot! And I even forgot all about lunch until almost 1 pm! I'm usually starving by 11:30 am!

Even though I wasn't really very hungry for lunch, I ate anyway because 334 calories can only sustain me for so long! It was too hot again today to walk to Whole Foods for a salad (by the time I get back to the office, the salad is warm and yucky), so I made due with what I brought and what I had in the office freezer.

Peaches, apricots, and a broccoli, cheese, and potato Lean Cuisine.

 For dinner, my mom called and wanted to go to Old Country Buffet. I'll go into the logistics of surviving a buffet in an upcoming post because this would be the neverending post if I did it now! At buffets, I generally fill up on the healthy stuff and then, if I still have room, a tiny bit of bad to minimize the damage.

This is the ONE plate I had. It's mixed greens, red onions, and some dried cranberries, with white wine vinegar and fresh salsa for dressing. For protein, I had BBQ baked chicken breast and removed the skin. It was a filling dinner and I didn't feel like going back for more.

But....

This blog wouldn't be called Cupcakes & Fitness if it didn't feature a cupcake every once in a while! This was actually a generic, small chocolate cupake with white icing and sprinkles---with coffee.

Tomorrow, I'll be on the road (and hopefully using a better camera) on my way to my parents' house in Orlando! YAY! I love running in their neighborhood! So it'll be Road Food for the next couple of days!

Gotta get up early for an easy run at the gym before hitting the road!

Deedah

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Another Hot One!

It’s another 100+ degree day in my neck of the woods, but you won’t hear any complaints from me, not with flashbacks from Snowpocalypse, Snowmaggedon, the Blizzards of 2010 still haunting me. I can still feel the sting of the wind gusts on my face as I shoveled foot after foot of snow onto a glacier of a snow bank in front of my parents’ house.

Picture on the left: From my parents' window during the second blizzard in a week. On the left you can see the top of their mailbox. That's it, just the top! Oh, and we lost power for 2 days.

Picture on the right: That's my uncle after shoveling for hours. He's nearly 6 feet tall!

So, no, you won't hear me complain about the heat wave, nope not me! It’s interesting that after a record-breaking snowy winter, we’re now having a near record-breaking summer.


This morning I was all set to go to the gym and run my scheduled 2 miles, but when the alarm went off I woke up with a headache that pounded like a herd of elephants and have been queasy and unsettled all day. So I decided to take it easy. I wouldn't be surprised if I am a touch dehydrated because of the heat. What I didn't tell you is that I walk outside 2 miles a day as part of my commute. I love the sun and heat and being out in it, but I have to confess that I don't drink enough water. I feel a lot better now and WILL get up tomorrow and run my scheduled 3 miles at the gym AND drink enough water!

Today's Eats ( I ate a little dirty today)

For breakfast I ate the same thing as yesterday. This is a really satisfying breakfast, although I know it wouldn't hurt to include more protein. Eggs are a great source of protein for breakfast. So once I finish these waffles up (and go buy some eggs!), eggs are next on the menu.

For lunch, it was too hot to walk the six blocks to Whole Foods, so I made up for my protein-deficient breakfast with a cup of chili from Quiznos and the same turkey sandwich as yesterday. I know it's probably boring to see me eat the same things, so I'll try to remember to mix it up on my next grocery trip! Expect to see exotic fruits, vegetables, and healthy recipes in posts to come.

See those jalapenos? I plop them right into the cup of chili so it's nice and HOT! Queasy stomach or not, I love spicy food. It's like lava going down. I hate not eating veggies (unless jalapenos count because they're green!), but, like I said, it wasn't an ideal eating day.

Later in the afternoon, I was feeling snacky so I had a handful of these:

For dinner I grazed on some fresh finds from the Wednesday Farmers Market by my office. I ate a couple of these:

 Half an ear of peaches-and-cream sweet corn:

 Then headed out to the mall for some refreshing, cool, tart, taro-flavored probiotic yogurt with fresh fruit:

All in all I didn't eat badly, but I didn't eat as well as I could and should have. There was too much of some things and not enough of others. I think the important thing is that even though I didn't feel quite like myself all day, I didn't use it as an excuse to overeat. There's nothing wrong with eating food (or even overeating) every once in a while (and I definitely do!), but when it becomes a crutch and when everything becomes an excuse to lose control, it becomes less about the joy of food and more like wanting to mindlessly eat to fill a void. I respect food and all the pleasure of eating it too much to treat it and use it like a drug. 

Goodnight! Gotta get up and go to the gym!


Deedah

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Goal Post!

All my life I’ve been the type of person who wants to set goals, the type of person who has lists and lists of things to accomplish running through my head. I collect ideas, file them away, and, most of the time, either forget about them or dismiss them altogether with some unsupported, weak excuse for why it was just impossible and not really worth pursuing. I’ve wanted to be an FBI agent, a restaurateur, a pastry chef, a doctor, a nurse, a personal trainer, a professional belly dancer; I’ve wanted to ride camels amongst the pyramids and mules at the Grand Canyon, have a Guinness in Ireland, go to every single Disney park in the world, pay my respects at Graceland during Elvis week; I’ve wanted to try eating alligator and deep-fried Twinkies; and much, much more. Honestly, I could have become/done any/all of those things if I had either 1) set my mind to it or 2) not been too afraid to attempt it.

My 20s were a decade of growing. I got to know myself, and I watched myself change. I gained experiences, some of which I should regret (and sometimes I do feel like I regret them, I won't lie). But in my heart I know that those experiences, good and bad, have determined the paths I have chosen in going forward as well as what I've chosen to leave behind.

I promised myself that my 30s would be a decade of doing. I'm going to set goals and not just fantasize about accomplishing them, settling instead for the status quo. So, without further ado, my first goal that I'm going to accomplish is running in the Disney's Princess Half-Marathon, which so happens to take place on my 33rd birthday weekend in February 2011!

Running a half-marathon would be a monumental experience for me. You see, I was the chubby girl who could barely walk, much less run, the dreaded mile. Always coming in last, always getting picked last, always full of shame. It seemed like the only running I could do was be the running fat joke of gym class.

I never dreamed back then that I would be able to run a full mile much less 6 miles or even 13.1 miles or that I would even want to! But what was a weakness and a cause for humiliation 25 years ago will soon be my greatest physical achievement to date (and a great big F-U moment dedicated to all those jerks who mooed at me in gym class all those years ago!)

To train for this half-marathon, I'm going to be following a novice Half-Marathon Training Program, which is the free version available online. I'm doing my best to eat a mostly clean diet of lots of fruits and vegetables, whole grains/complex carbs, and protein. Although I've already been running, I want to start from the beginning of this novice training program because I want to get used to running several days a week instead of just for kicks on the weekends.

So, yesterday, Monday July 5, I started with a 3-mile run. Tonight, I just got back from half an hour of light/moderate aerobics and half an hour of toning and stretching.

Today's Eats 

For breakfast, I had 97% Fat-Free Vans Waffles, 1 tbsp of almond butter, a banana, and a tall cup of coffee with Splenda. Perfect, sweet, breakfast!

For lunch, I had a turkey sandwich (two slices of honey multigrain bread, deli turkey, reduced-fat Sorento grated cheese, and Dijon mustard) and a box of fresh, delicious greens and Superfood Salad from my absolute fave Whole Foods salad bar, with 1 tbsp balsamic vinaigrette.

Along with some sweet summer berries for dessert!

For dinner I had a mish-mash of weekend leftovers, including my mom's amazing chicken baked with Campbells 98% Fat-Free Cream of Mushroom and brown rice, a turkey meatball, and some watermelon. I didn't take any pics because they wouldn't look all that appetizing!


Deedah

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Fun on the Fourth!

Summer is my favorite season. Living in the mid-Atlantic, I experience all four seasons. In the fall, the hills are ablaze with crimson and gold. Some days may still be warm, but in the breeze we catch a reminder of the cold to come. We've got cold winters, even getting 5 feet of snow this past February. Around here in the winter, the trees are bare, their gnarled, outstretched branches naked against the muted sunlight. The air bites you on the cheek and numbs your ears. Then springtime comes along, and life's green buds begin to appear against the gray. Some days are still chilly, but in the breeze is just the faintest scent of cherry blossom and young grass. Birds come back and flutter about carrying twigs and other debris for their nests. Then there's the summer. Summer is hot, hazy, and humid, with long stretches of 90+ degree days. I love it!

This past weekend was the final weekend before I start working on one of my first goals (post to come!), and it's also the quintessential "last supper" many of us have before embarking on our latest healthy pursuits. It was the July 4th long weekend. I'm not gonna lie, I didn't exercise and I ate some amazing summertime foods to celebrate. I don't have pics of the food, but just imagine BBQ, charcoal-grilled burgers (yes, plural), pizza, and, yes, even a cupcake. In future posts, you'll be seeing some of what goes in my mouth, both to showcase beautiful foods and to keep me accountable with regard to my portions and tendency to overindulge.

Summertime evokes memories of beaches, boardwalks, funnel cake(!), Old Bay-seasoned blue crabs piled high on brown paper table clothes, and, of course baseball. This weekend, I went to my first Nationals game at Nationals Park in DC. I'd been to games before (in Tampa and Milwaukee), but I'd never been to a Nationals home game. We had great seats!

 My boyfriend of 5 wonderful years was in town, and it was great to be able to spend time together. I miss him so much when we're apart (that's a post for another time). We see each other more or less every couple of months since he's had to move back to Wisconsin back in 2006. Even after all these years, I still cry at the airport when he leaves. But I wouldn't trade him for anyone else, local or otherwise. He's my best friend, and every tear I shed missing him is well worth it.

These pics can count for my "before" pictures:

Hopefully, my "after" pics will look something like this!:

This is Jessica Biel. I'm not really a fan, but I do admire her fit figure. She looks strong not skinny. Look at those shoulders! I know that I may not have the build (or the money and time) to ever look like Jessica Biel, but I want to get as close as my body will let me. And there's no losing in trying!

Till Tomorrow!

Deedah

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More About Deedah's Cupcakes & Fitness

Cupcakes and fitness. What in the world do those two things have in common? I love both and can't imagine giving up one for the sake of the other!

I've been on a quest to achieve the best level of fitness for my body for years. I want to stay healthy and live a long and active life. But like many people out there, I'm stuck with that last 10-15 pounds I can't seem to get rid of. I've tried almost every popular diet/eating style/exercise regimen there is, from the ultrarestrictive low-carb diets like Atkins and South Beach to Weight Watchers to the Eat Clean Diet. I couldn't stick to any of them. Sound familiar?

I've realized that food is a wonderful part of life. The sweet comfort of icing coating your tongue, the buttercream infusing your tastebuds; the heartiness of a fresh slice of artisan bread, crusty and rustic; filet mignon that melts in your mouth, cooked to perfection, with a glass of red wine, of course; the juice of a perfect peach dribbling down your chin and your hands while you revel in the purest taste of summer. I can't live like food is just a means to fuel my body because I truly find so much joy in it. I find joy in sharing meals with friends and loved ones, I find joy in cooking and baking and being creative with food, and I find joy in discovering new restaurants, whether it's a mom-and-pop dive or a Zagat-rated dining experience. But I know that I've got to be realistic and eat healthy (most of the time) to achieve my fitness goals and avoid the consequences of obesity, like diabetes and heart disease, which, unfortunately, plague both my parents and extended family on both sides. So I've got a tough road ahead in my journey to balance my love of food AND my love of fitness and exercise, as well as to drop those stubborn last pounds.

I say I love fitness and exercise. AND I DO! What do I love just as much as food? Working out, if you can believe it. I've always exercised (and enjoyed it), whether I was 175 pounds or 125 pounds. I enjoy feeling my body working hard, my muscles contracting and extending, throbbing after each rep. The high at the end of a summer run, as the sun beats down on my arms and face, drenching me in sweat and sunscreen, is euphoric. In the past couple of years, I've taken up running. I run for fun a couple of times a week either at the gym or around my neighborhood. The furthest I ever run is 6 miles, but most of the time I like to go for a nice 4-miler. This past June I ran in my first 5 K race, the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Washington, DC. The feeling I got crossing the finish line is something I can't wait to recapture, and soon!

Eating Plan

I don't want to divorce food to be healthy. I want to forge a working relationship in which I CAN loose body fat, gain endurance and stamina, and get more fit and still have a cupcake every now and then. I still want to enjoy a full, real meal out in the real world. I don't want to order the side salad while everyone else has calamari! And I think moderation and portion size are key. I recently purchased a book by Jackie Warner (of Workout fame) entitled This Is Why You're Fat. In it, Ms. Warner talks about "eating clean" most of the time but allowing yourself two cheat meals a week of no more than 1,500 calories each. I don't plan on following her methods to the letter but rather follow the principles of such a method, using also what I've learned from the myriad of diets I've tried through the years.

This leads me to some of the goals I mentioned in my Welcome post on July 1. Although this blog is going to deal a lot with food and exercise, it will also include other aspects of living a full and fruitful life. I turn 33 next year! It's time to start living!

Up next, some Fourth of July firsts (and pics!) and my First goal: The Disney's Princess Half-Marathon

Stay tuned!

Deedah

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Welcome!

Hi, and welcome to my brand new blog!


I’m so glad that I finally got it up and running. I’ve been reading blogs for a couple of years now (yes, I’m late to the party, but better late than never!), and I really appreciate all the wisdom and motivation I get every morning from the blogworld. From weight loss and exercise advice to great things to see, eat, and do, I love to read about REAL people living real lives, facing real challenges, and accomplishing real goals, just like me. Sure, the media is saturated with shows about what to eat, how to live, what to wear, etc., but, for me, there is always a certain disconnect that interferes with me absorbing and trusting what they have to say.

So, for those who are interested, this blog was created for the following purpose:

To give myself a creative outlet where I can journal my personal journey to accomplishing my fitness, health, and life goals without sacrificing too much of the simple pleasures in life (like cake!), as well as to be part of this dynamic (and fun) internet community.

Stay tuned for some pics, history, and a fresh set of goals!

Have a great 4th of July Weekend!

Deedah

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