Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Wishin' and Hopin' and Thinkin' and Prayin'

I'm on a job search.

I don't hate my job. But I'm really tired of it. After nearly 6 years, it's not heading in the direction I was told it would head and I'm growing increasingly dissatisfied with my position and responsibilities. My job duties are at the entry level at best, and it didn't start out that way. In addition, I'm really tired of all the freelance I have to do just to be able to put away a little bit of savings. I want one good job and just one regular freelance job. That's my goal.

But I've been pigeon-holed in what I do (it's pretty specialized) and it's hard for me to apply to anything outside my field. This makes it a challenge to find a new career path. Through some miracle, I found a compatible position in Orlando, which would actually be a logical "next step" in my current career path (which is pretty nonexistant outside of cities like New York, Washington, Chicago, etc---big cities). I applied and their human resources called me a couple of days later, making me really hopeful. My elusive dream of moving to Orlando (which has been my dream for going on 20 years now) was closer to coming true than it even had been. But I have yet to hear from them again and hope sinks. It's almost as though I wish they never called at all. Dangling that possibility in front of me only made me feel that much more hopeless about ever making my dream come true.

I just feel so frustrated. Brian is still a million miles away and I'm still hanging on to an apparently impossible dream for 20 years. Years and years of my life are going by and those 2 measily goals can't become reality for some reason or another. I'm not asking for the world here. Sorry about the bummer post. I'm just so incredibly sick of trying and trying for certain things and getting c*** blocked by the world every time.

Well before this turns into an angry rant, I'm going to sign off!

Here's to a better day tomorrow.



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