Is anyone out there? Hello?
It's been a while, as you can see. Since April 2011, the date of my last post, I have to admit that my life has been mostly cupcakes and very little fitness, which has inevitably led me to a nearly 20 lb weight gain. But wait! Before you shake your heads in disgust and disappointment, I have a laundry list of excuses for falling off the wagon, which I will post in two parts.
Quite honestly, the rest of 2011 is a blur in my mind. I've always had trouble remembering a whole lot, and 2012 upstaged 2011 as far as crazy, Lifetime-movie-type BS goes. So I just remember 2011 as being an everyday, run-of-the-mill year. I know that in June 2011, I traveled to Las Vegas for a business trip, during which I was accosted in a dark alley by a drunk firmly gripping his member. Thank goodness for the lone car that happened to drive through. How I ended up in the aforementioned dark alley is a lame story exemplifying my poor judgement and lack of common sense. Oh and some man decided it was worth it to pull it out and pee right next to where I was standing one evening. So, yeah, in Las Vegas I saw two strange penises I never asked to see. Later in the summer of 2011, I'm sure I went to Orlando a couple of times as I usually do. Then I probably went to Wisconsin for the last time that year.
Late in the fall of 2011, I decided to go back to working part-time at Nordstrom as seasonal help and just kept working through until very recently. Looking back, it's clear that starting up at Nordstrom again was a quintessential turning point in my life. It initiated a "paradigm shift" that pretty much transformed everything I knew for the last 7 years 180 degrees, quite literally overnight.
2012 started as benignly as any other year, other than the looming threat of an apocalypse come December 21st thanks to a misinterpreted Mayan calendar. Actually, my birthday celebration in February in Florida was probably one of the best birthdays I had ever had. As delusional as I was---that being a hindsight observation of course---it was wonderful to spend my 34th birthday with my parents, my brother, my cousin, and Brian. All the people I loved most were all with me. Who could ask for a better gift! It was a blast and I was happy. While there, Brian even booked his flight to New Orleans in April to prove to me that he was serious about going with me on my business trip. Now that was going to be fun, fun, fun! So, like I said, it was a great time, and I had Brian and New Orleans to look forward to come April.
Meanwhile, while I was working at Nordstrom that winter, I developed a bond with my lovely coworkers and really enjoyed going in to work. Interacting with customers and learning so many things from them and the people around me was enriching and a nice change of pace from my quiet daytime desk job. Brian wasn't as thrilled about my new outlet, and I was accused of wasting precious "visiting time" working a part-time job that took up a lot of free time that I could have spent booking and paying for flights for him to come see me. I felt guilty, but there was no way I was going to negotiate with anyone who can't be happy for me being happy. So to spite him, I kept on a-workin'.
When April finally came along, I couldn't wait to go to New Orleans. It was a new place for me, and I would have Brian to experience it with. I had three goals when I went to New Orleans: 1) I wanted to eat in at least one famous restaurant (believe me New Orleans is a veritable food heaven); 2) I wanted to have at least one drink in at least one bar on Bourbon Street; and 3) I wanted to go to Cafe Du Monde. Suffice it to say, I was up for some digestive debauchery.
Tune in next time for the conclusion of 2012 A Year in Review!